Did I say everything I wanted to sayMay 18, 2012
Interestingly, some people who come to see me for a reading are worried that the person who has died is still mad at them. Maybe the person who is alive didn’t visit right at the end. Or, there was a misunderstanding or falling out that never got patched up. From what I’ve seen, the people who are alive still hold onto all the guilt and sadness for not expressing their feelings before it was too late. And they believe that the person who has died is still upset.
Luckily, I’ve never connected to a spirit that was holding a grudge or still cross about something. When I get to deliver this message during a reading it often brings great peace and comfort to the living. It allows them to let go of the worry.
I often wonder about my own life – my family and my friends – do I say everything that I need to? If someone ever died suddenly would I have missed my chance? I love you, I am grateful to know you and to have you in my life, thank you, I am sorry or, simply, goodbye. I try to but when it comes to life and relationships it is sometimes difficult to express or communicate everything. There are so many important people in my life. Realizing that loss is always possible means that I need to consistently share and express my feelings with my own loved ones.
One person in my life that I often feel that I have not said enough to is my dad. He has been sick with heart disease since I was 10 years old and over this past year he has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. The mental deterioration has affected his life and his happiness. He is aware of his mental decline. Over this past year I have avoided sharing with him my sadness and worry about his illness. I have been afraid, fearful, and sad for my dad, my family, and me. I saw him as sick again, this time not with heart disease but a new illness. It broke my heart; it still breaks my heart.
This past weekend I broke down in tears and told my dad how much I loved him and how sad I was that he was sick with Alzheimer’s. I could no longer bear the idea that he might die without knowing how much I loved him. As I began to tell him how much I loved him he also started to cry. I hugged him and told him that I knew that he was going to die someday and I wanted to let him know I loved him and I am sorry that he has to be sick again. He told me not to worry. He told me he loved me, too, and if I get scared or fearful of his illness I could call him and let him know. He wanted to make sure I had an outlet for my worries and that I did not carry it bottled up inside me. I told him that making sure he knew I loved him was my outlet. I love you, Dad.
My work as a medium has taught me so many valuable life lessons. The most important lesson is to say I love you to those whom you love and don’t be scared to say everything you want to say.